<bgsound src="http://63.209.191.203/~f6putfi/videos/b6-15803530776.mid" loop="infinite"> An important thing... 「 」 A memory.: August 2006

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Haiz. It happened again. The same dream, that I dreamt.... EXACTLY the same as the ones I've had over and over again. T_T Why does it keep repeating? And this time it was more freaky, much more detailed, and lasted much longer. Whyyyy? D8 It was the beach dream btw.

Once again, the the sea level rose again. And once again me and my friends were fleeing from it. Once again I was pulled into the water. And once again someone would jump and save me. And up up up we'll run again. And then, like before, I'll drop inside again. And yet another one would jump in to save me. And then nearing the top, once again the water will rise and stop right before us, then go back down. And there will be a new comer who comes in, and ask us to stand behind a tree and hold it tight. But this time was different, this time it was in between two trees. D8 But like before, the water rose up again, and we didn't get washed away. D8 When the waves receeded. Then, like the many times I've dreamt of it before, the water stops where it is and we were saved. Then as usual, I'd wake up at that point of time.

What exactly is the meaning of that dream? D8 I wonder.

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Well I had another dream after I went back to sleep. XD;

It was a weird one. I dreamt that we were at this. Erm. Place. Where there were a lot of people, and me, my friends and some of my cousins were there. We were supposed to take up only one lane [which has 2 rooms], but somehow it become two. Because the group of people taking the other lane somehow mysteriously disappeared. But no one else realized it, or seem to care. And then somehow cousin Shanice was supposed to come over but never did. o_o

And then I was walked out of the area, and it was like erm. FF-kinda like. Lots of stuff, and really beautiful. Like a really beautiful park/garden. And then I saw this house. I entered and saw a really dark lane. And saw something really stupid happen. XD And then I continued walking.. And saw this person up on the tree looking quite demented. Then so I walked on.. And somehow I saw Jessica, and then this old man, I pressume her grandfather, really bringing her down by words. And then I saw her bro, looking down at her....

I walked out of the house, and realized that I actually had walked through a lot of the garden, a whole course. And I somehow decided to go to this other place to find out something, forgot what.... Then I woke up.

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And yet again I went back to bed. D8

This time I dreamt that me and my friends were on this mission. First we would be on a boat, and something really important will be floating about at this certain part of the river. We had to jump in and take it before going back on the boat. That's job no. 1. So we were practicing. And it wasn't that hard for the few times we did that.

I remember this point of time where I had to go to the washroom. Now I know that there's a lot of people who died on that boat, but I wasn't prepared for what I saw. I opened the door, and I saw beds in front of me, the left was this dining area and the washroom was on the right. Ok, seems fair enough. 2 people went past me, to the dining area. I ignored them and moved to the washroom area as if there was nothing wrong. But there definately was. On the other corner was the beds, there were covers covering the sleeping area, but there wasn't anyone inside. However you can see a figure lying on the bed. So what exactly is that? I got so freaked out I didn't go to the washroom area anymore. And then there was chaos. Really chaos. Everyone was running around, fighting etc. But nvm, after a while it died down.

And so the actual mission came. And the 5 of us stood at the small opening which we will jump out of. And then there it was! The item floating about, like they said. I jumped in and grabbed it before the rest actually jumped into the water. They were like 'AIYA SO FAST TAKE FOR WHAT? No fun liao' but still helped me back on the ship.

Then we reached this place where erm. It's kinda freaky. We had to sit these "rides" that spins you round and round 360 degrees vertically. And you are seated in a really weirdly arranged manner. And then we had to sit on this boat, and we saw ourselves on the "rides" again. Pretty weird huh. Nevermind. So we continued onto this really weird area. Haha. There were witches etc. And my friends chose to go straight, where all the erm. Grasshoppers are? D8 And they'd attack us. OMG WTF ARE YOU GUYS THINKING?!?! I gave up halfway and went to where we came from originally. And I took the other route. Of course the ones my friends took was faster. But I came across some weird people, and one of them warned me of this witch. And then the train came, and I boarded it. Somehow my friends were on it as well, so it was ok. Then somehow the train was broken into two parts. D8 And I was the only one at the back. I did what I was supposed to do on the train, and then I went to sit at this hidden compartment at the very end of the train. It was so weird, I was all alone. And I kept staring at the passage that's beside me. I was frightened that someone or something would just walk past me, so I tried to hide as many parts of my body inside the hidden compartment, cause my right hand's elbow was sticking out. I felt really uncomfortable. But in the end it turned out ok.

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There's more details but I can't remember. HAIZ. T_T

~ Nazhuka Mizhuki ~

Haiz. Quite a few things to blog about. LONG POST ALERT! -then again when are my posts short? =X -

I dreamt about that guy who pissed me off so badly. AGAIN. And yes I'm still reminded once again why and how pissed I am at him. ^^

Wednesday was love. I went to school for only PE. =D The time table was:

ELELPEPEMTRecessSSSSMathsMaths

All the teachers were absent except PE. ^^ So I only went to school for PE, w00t. 8D We had like. A bonding session the whole time after recess haha. We talked crap, first about the Teachers' Day party we will be throwing, and then about what will happen to us 20 years from now! Haha. Super funny.

  • Miss Teo's voice would be inaudioable because it'll get so high it becomes ultrasound. And moreover, bats will follow her wherever she goes, and so she will become batwoman. XD
  • While we will be walking the streets, we go donate money to this guy playing the guitar.. And then realize that it's Marcus D8
  • HuiPeng's children will be carrying a book wherever they go, or they won't go at all. And if she wants to punish them, she'll confiscate their books and force them to watch TV.
  • Felina's children will be all "WEI LI! BU YAO BAI CHI LARRR".
  • You will see two idiotic children roaming about. And then when you ask who's their parents, you will see Wei Li coming. [added by Wei Li= you will hear those opera CHANG CHANG CHANG and then you will see her coming]
  • Anwari's wife will be an Indian and they will do the Indian Bollywood dance. Around a pole/tree. And his wife will be all "ANWARIII!!! WHERE ARE YOU!!" in a really dramatic manner, and then she'll find him at the nearest tree!
  • Young Sing's child will meet the President and Prime Minister, including the Princes and Princesses of other countries. =D
  • Shilton's children will have Afro hairstyles. XD And he'll be the heir to the Hilton hotel.
  • Chance's Children will be forced to smoke and take Smack K, and be taught to shake leg whenever they sit
  • Ziqi's children will be smacking everyone every other time.
  • My children will next time be all gothic. XD By punishment they will have to be angelic. D8
  • Mr Njoo will become a girl, and then we'll be forced to guess who he is 20 years later D8
  • Mrs Sally Tang will die =X
  • Mr gng will be as headless as mr Ng [actually not true, Mr Ng got more hair liao leh peeps]

Haha. On thursday all the teachers talked about how free we were on Wed. XD Really funny. Btw Mr Njoo can't talk properly. He says that while his daughter was skipping it hit his chin, and he bit his tongue. Sounds kinda untrue, but whatever. o_o;

CONGRATS TO BERWIN FOR WINNING THE SOLO CAT. FOR TALENT TIME!!! =D Next time treat you go eat ice cream. ^^

Congrats also to Marcus and Sean for winning the group/band for talent time also. =D

Thankies to Berwin also for going to teach me Guitar. ^^ YOU BULLY ME WHILE TEACHING ME GUITAR I MAKE SURE U DIE ON PIANO. >D

These 2 days very good mood haha. =X

~ Nazhuka Mizhuki ~

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Haha. Yesterday was funnn. =3

Stayed back with Wei Li for POA stuff. Talked about cosplay, anime and Jrock. Haha. Then we went to get ice cream to eat. WHOOPIE. <3>D And you guys to find out. haha. >_>; Then I walked her to the same path again cause she wanted to walk home. O_O

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Today got up at 4+ and realized that my gut area hurts like fuck and that I kept feeling like throwing up. And I couldn't get rid of it, despite going back to sleep after some time and waking up again at 6+, which made things even worse. DX Mom still wanted me to go to school, wtf. I wanted to too, I studied like fuck for the test you know. =( Oh well. In the end didn't go.

I watched Dir en Grey's Cage and [KR] Cube PV. I'm once again reminded why I love them so much. <3

Thankies so much to dearest Norman [Osiris/Normi] for showing me these cute stuff. =3


Cute Overload

2 Rabbits Eating Together



... And my lovely Dir en Grey links!! <3
Kaoru making fun of Kyo XD

Toshiya licks Kyo while performing Hydra. Had it last time, gone when com reformatted. *_* It's love!

Cage PV

[KR] Cube PV

~ Nazhuka Mizhuki ~

Sunday, August 20, 2006

=====================================================================
Song: Cage
Artist: Dir en Grey
=====================================================================

Romaji

shibire wo kirashiteru
boku wa mado no chi wo hiki
sado no kimi wo matsu
dekireba doku no baiser de
hitan yue ni bitoku miezu
kimi wa saigo no mama de

kioku umete kizukarenu you ni
saigo no mama
tokei wa hidarimawari demo
okashita tsumi wa kaerezu
saisho de saigo no rikaisha yakitsukete

iyagaru boku wo mite
tsuyoku soshite yasashiku
muriyari no tetsudan
keshite kimi ni wa ienai
kawa no kishimu oto ga itai
kizu wo fukamete yukou
shittobukai kimi wa
itsudemo reiketsu na no?
osanai koro no gyakutai ga ne
ima demo wasurezu ni itai
naze mama wa inai no
oshiete yo

itsu ka wa yasashisa ni kizuite
haha naru
"yurikago" no naka de

hitsuu yue ni mae ga miezu
boku no saigo no mama de
semete kimi ni kizukarenu you ni
saisho no mamatokei wa hidarimawari demo
okashita tsumi wa kaerezusaisho de saigo no rikaisha
kowashita

boku ni wa yasashisugita no ka naa?
mukashi no torauma wo utsushi
saigo no kimi made kowashita boku wa sado?

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Kanji

シビレを切らしてる
僕はマゾの血をひき
サドの君を待つ
出来れば
毒のbaiserで
悲嘆故に美徳見えず
君は最後のMOTHERで
記憶埋めて気付かれぬように
最初のMOTHER
時計は左回りでも
犯した罪は変えれず
最初で最後の理解者
焼き付けて

嫌がる僕を見て
強くそして優しく無理矢理の決断
決して君には言えない
皮のキシム音が痛い
傷を深めてゆこう
嫉妬深い君は
いつでも冷血なの?
幼い頃の虐待がね
今でも忘れずにいたい
何故MOTHERはいないの
教えてよ

いつかはやさしさに気付いて
聖母なる 「ゆりかご」 の中で

悲痛故に前が見えず
僕の最後のMOTHERで
せめて君に気付かれぬように
最初のMOTHER
時計は左回りでも
犯した罪は変えれず
最初で最後の理解者
壊した
僕には優し過ぎたのかなあ?
昔のトラウマを映し
最後の君まで壊した僕はサド?

===================================================================

English

impatient
the masochist's blood runs in my veins
I wait for you, the sadist
if I can do it
with a poisonous kiss

because of sorrow I cannot see virtue
you are the last mother
the memory buried so that you won't realise
the first mother
even though the clock turns backwards
the sin I've committed can't be changed
the first and last person who understood me
is burned into my memory

see me resisting
strongly and then kindly forcing a decision
I can never tell you
the creaking sound of leather hurts me
let's make the wound even deeper
you, deeply jealous
are you always so cold-hearted?
even now I don't want to forget
the abuse of my childhood
why don't I have a mother? tell me...

someday I'll realise kindness
inside the mother*-like "cradle"...

because of anguish I cannot see before me
my last mother
at least, so that you won't realise
the first mother
even though the clock turns backwards
the sin I've committed can't be changed
the first and last person who understood me
is destroyed

were you too kind to me?
the reflection of a trauma from long ago
I destroyed you, the last one
am I a sadist?

===================================================================
Lyrics - Kyo

Music - Kaoru
===================================================================

See why I find it weird that I cried? Haha.

~ Nazhuka Mizhuki ~

Haiz.

Today got even more pissed off by that guy. Shouldn't have replied him in the first place sia. Fucking hell. Piss me off even more. All the more I don't wish to speak to him.

That aside, I went to meet Leonard for physics. Ehhh. How come Nicky also come along arh? D8 Haha nvm, they were funny! XD Came up with funny names for all the physics formulars AND questions, along with how my teacher marks my work, and cracked some lame O level stuff. Lol, really funny. Oh well, at least I learnt something. =3

Then we went to Subway to have our lunner [lunch + dinner]. ZOMIGOSH ELMO I FINISHED OK? XD Then we sat there talk cock. Haha. Felt so full after finishing, lol. =X

Then hit the arcade! First they went to challenge themselves lar, so funny haha. Shot the wrong game they wanted to play, lol. =X Oh well it was interesting watching them play. Then we went to the DG arcade. Ray wasn't there. =( Nevermind, haha. We watched these 2 pros playing House of the Dead 4. Omg, one credit and played until last stage. D8 Wonder how much they spent on it, haha. They like know where and when to hit sia. Omg, rating all A. DX

So we went to play [leonard and me, HEY I GOT HIS NAME XD]. Died at second stage. AND ELMO YOU SUCK. Cause you made it to 3rd. xP

Then went to DDR, said hi to Aisubeki and friend cause they were there. =D Nicky and Leonard sat there and watched me DDR, cause they refused to play. T_T Then Leonard ran away halfway to play the fighting games, lol. So we joined him later after my DDR game. =D Omg they're funny, haha. Were hitting the buttons so hard the machine was shaking. O_O Then went to see Nicky play Initial D. Haha funny dude. So THAT's where he spend his cash on. Haha. Leonard="Now you know why he's so poor". LOL XD

Then went off liao. =] Luel couldn't join. T_T Cause she went to church. D8 Something I've not attended for almos tthe whole of this year, haha.

btw, what's the use of the sirens on ambulance arh? I mean like. I saw them on before, but they still stop at traffic lights. It's like.

Patient waiting for ambulance
EHHH. Where's the ambulanceeee? How come not here yetttt. Dying already lehhh. T_T

Patient in the ambulance
OIIIII. Drive faster lehhhh. Emergency lehhh, how come still stop at traffic lightttt? Life important one lehhh.

Haha. Just something I thought. But somehow related..? Why stop at traffic light sia. A bit no sense leh.

Oh, and I want to cosplay Dir en Grey one day, as I've always wanted to. =3 Most prob Cage bahz. Or Withering to Death image. I'm stuck on Cage!! @_@ And something's really wrong with me. I cried listening to Cage. o_O

Last thing. I said that if I forgot to bring my SS homework home I"ll bang my head against the wall. And guess what? I forgot. -Looks at wall- T___T

~ Nazhuka Mizhuki ~

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Haizzzz. What an eventful day. -sighs-

Morning got up early, chiong to get ready etc, only to have my dad volunteer to drive me to school. Wtf, then I wake up early and rush like mad for nothing sia. Sit down there stone while waiting for him to finish.

Then later the mock exam. HAIZ. Don't want to talk about it. Just.. No. =____=;;;

Then later went home and chiong to go out again cause I was freaking late [stupid Mr Tan made us stay back for nothing, wtf/], and I was supposed to meet Cruxifixation at 12, Tampines. I reached home at 11.40! D8 So chiong like mad. In the end lehhhh? She never turn up. =___= Waiting 45min for her, because later cannot liao, got something on. So sorry Crux!! -haha refer to later for more funny details-

After that went to Douby Ghout [sp?] to meet this guy called Tec who wants to crossdress as Linali from Dgray man. D8 Ermmm. Nvm. WA LAO HE LOOK DAMN MAN LAR. More man than Kazuki. Omg. D8 Haha online he's DAMN irritating, in real life he isn't that bad. Just that talk damn soft. Hard to hear what he's saying. =___=; WITCH CAT YOUR $100 IS WITH ME!! How do you want to take it? Then later went to the arcade to meet Muffin, and give Esther a surprise meeting! Haha. Oh well, they were both late. As usual. <_<>

Then Muffin came. =] She said that she has to go off first cause Esther's only coming at two, but she didn't realize that it's already after two, haha!! XD So she waited for Esther. =3 While I continued to DDR..... And then I saw Esther in this white formal buttoned blouse and black corset. OMG SEXEH. haha. Whoops. =X ESTHER YOU DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING. =D Haha they were being lazy so they didn't DDR with me. =(

So I went to Para. Hard mode on freestyle. Zomigosh I failed. Haha. Then Luel and her bf came. =D They went to play the hammering game, haha. IT LOOKS VIOLENT AND DANGEROUS I TELL YOU. D8 Then we went to play that sword game. Haha. OIIII. UNDERPERFORMING LARRRRRRR. Luel go smack your bf awake. =X Haha kidding. =D It was still fun seeing him play, haha. Then they went to play those erm. Fighting games, WHICH I SO TOTALLY SUCK AT. D8 Oh well, it was fun watching them, haha. Then went to DDR machine... And saw Kula , and another cosplayer who I apparently don't know. Just said hi and then went to DDR! =D With one of Leong's friend.

ZOMIGOSH I PASSED AFRONOVA ON HEAVY!!! <3>( Haha. Then we went to play House Of The Dead 4. Me and Luel's bf, that is. Geez I seriously have to remember his name. >_<;; Not bad, cleared stage 1, halfway of stage 2. HEY NOT BAD FOR FIRST TIMER OKKKK. >_<; Then we went to do para again, after Kula. Was debating if I should play Guitar Freaks or Para, but after seeing so many people Para I also chose Para loh. =X Failed at 4th stage, Station to Station. HAIZ. T_T Haha they were waiting for Niki [sp?] but he never arrived. Wonder how their waiting went, haha. Then I had to leave, so I left Luel and her bf. =] Took 65, after I followed them to This Fashion and showing them some "corsets' sold there. Haha. =X

I saw this cat along the way home that's like. Erm. If it were much much MUCH bigger, I swear people can mistake it as a cow. I'M SERIOUS!!! It resembled that horribly. D8 Then I also saw this weird guy. Driving a car and holding drumsticks. Haha. Whenever it's red light, he'll start hitting the steering wheel with the sticks as if he's playing a drum. Damn stupid, haha.

Later went to Tampines Mall with my parents. Got a new phone. =3 I didn't get N80 like I hoped to get, then again I didn't exactly have any phones in mind so I didn't really care. Got 6313, erm. Ok if I didn't get the model name wrong, haha. MY PARENTS ARE RETARDED. XD

Then eat dinner, then go home liao. Saw this lao ah bei walking this artic dog. O_O The dog is so nice. T_T But huge. D8

Saw Jesuke's pics. OMG YOU LOOK SO SEXEH WITH LONG HAIR. ARHHHH. >_<;;; -glomps-

OH! Regarding Crux part. Haha. ZOMIGOSH I SAW HER WITH HER BF WHILE DAD DROVE US HOME. D8 She was at the traffic light and my dad drove past her. Lucky she didn't see me. PHEW.

Anyway, Melissa asked me to ask that guy to help me burn the Discs, cause she can't burn as well. Sorry Melissa, not that I don't want to help you, just that I don't want to talk to that guy. ^^ After like. Almost a whole week [6 days min], I'm still damn pissed off at him. And I don't think that I'll talk to him soon. So I can't promise that I can bring myself to help you ask him, ya? Hope you understand, sorry once again.

~ Nazhuka Mizhuki ~
ELMO!! FASTER UNLOCK AMY LEH. I WANT TO ESTIMATE HOW MUCH CLOTH TO BUY.

Friday, August 18, 2006

Haiz. Almost a week gone and I'm still pissed at that person. How wonderful. Wonder if he'll/she'll become the next Vegitto. =

Today was English O Level Oral. OMGG! I like so screwed up big time. Die liao larrr. T_T

===================================================================

Error One:
Teacher: Tell me the qualities of a friend.
I heard it wrongly, heard it as "threat".
Me: Erm. Threat?
Teacher: -nods head-
So on I went, talking about qualities of threat when I was stopped halfway.
Teacher: Erm. Excuse me. Sorry Jane but did you manage to get the question correctly? "Tell me the qualities of a friend".
Me: OH SORRY!!! >________< -carries on with the actual subject-

WA BIANG EHH. Damn pai seh loh. Both teachers were laughing like hell. T_T

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Error Two:
=On qualities of friend=
Me: The person must be able to accept me as who I am and not expect me to change for him/her because then we would be together because of the fake personality that I have come up with.
Teacher: Erm. Sorry, together?
So I think she got it as BGR lar. Haha.
Me: Yup. Together, Erm like. Friends are together because they share a common interest, etc, but not because of your status and all that.
Teacher: -nods head-

HAIZ. =____=;

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I got like. 5 questions for the Conversation part. Reading area I'm quite confident. =X Picture was ok ok. So in other words...

Reading: <3
Picture: =
Convo: DX

===================================================================

~ Nazhuka Mizhuki ~

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Gah. What an event. I even DREAM about it.

Yup, at the person I'm still pissed off with. Dammit, it's bugging me so much to the point where I dream of it. T__T

Anyway today go school early SIAN ARHHH cause got Oral Practice with Mdm Lydiana. She said I'll do well. Whee~ =D

Then class ok ok lar. Today's PE was the most boring PE I've ever had in my whole entire life lar. Lol. DX

Decided not to retake MT O levels. Can pass can le right? That's what I said before I took it. And well, pass liao loh. -_-; Though a bit bek chek cause I went out of point. Haiz.

According to Mr Wong, he say that my E Maths should be able to get a B if I stop being lazy and start being consistant. Lol. =X Why everyone say I smart but lazy studyyyy. =____= [actually is true larr. Just dun want admit I lazy =X]

Went home with Berwin today. Haha. Thought that it'd be awkward since just met. Ok ok larrr, at least got common topic to talk about. =D He go tuition marhz. Then there got direct bus home. So took with him until the stop then took 28 back. <3~

Oh yeah! Discussed about the band with JaE yesterday. He wants 2 keys, Berwin on lead guitar and him on vocals. Vince on drums if he's good, considering not to take Ben in. I asked Nic but ermm. ._.; Nevermind. Berwin seems not to mind. =D JaE says that it might be visual. PLEASE BE VISUAL. T_T Haha. Don't worry Berwin~ If we do go into visual I'll help you sew your outfit larrrr when I'm free. But pay for the cloth ok? =]

Next streetfest might be performing. =]

~ Nazhuka Mizhuki ~
Now why do all Amy cosplayers I see use cotton or satin? = - =

Monday, August 14, 2006

So continues the fucked up day.

Cried myself to sleep, yes even over such a petty matter which you obviously don't give a fucking shit about. Now why did I even bother apologizing?

Was thinking about shit, and thank you for reminding me how my life sux. I ended up crying like fuck, and crying myself to sleep. Oh well, at least Ray and TWS' comments on the fireworks made me smile a little.

Woke up with a splitting headache. Nvm. Got up, forgot burn Melissa's CDs. Tried so hard but cannot. Nvm. Left home forgot my files. Check time. Already missed the bus anyway. Nvm. Went back down to wait. Bus came 20min late, wtf. Almost late for school, arrived 2 min before bell ring.

Then go back class, Gng come kao bei us. Wtf. Path there for people to walk wattt. What's your problem.

Then after mock Mr Koh come kao bei us. Wtf also. No logic, so biased also!

Then come back ok ok. Took some pics. BUT I'M STILL PISSED OFF. My blood boils and my heart beats faster everytime I think about it. THAT mad. Not like the person[s] actually care.

Zeru bugged me like fuck, but I bashed him like fuck too.

WRote a song, tell you about that later. Thankies to that someone, for letting me write this song. =D To tell you the truth I'm still pissed even after expressing myself lieke this. First time I'm this pissed I think. And hurt.

Well discussed band stuff with Jae, gotta go inform Berwin about it. =]

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Song: Shattered
By: Nazhuka Mizhuki

===================================================================

I"m hurt, and I'm broken
And I can't be
Pieced back together
And I know
You wont' speak [to me]
But I don't know
What I'm waiting for

Forgive me my friend
For I have done something to hurt you
[unknowingly]
But you know I'm human too
I can't deal with these emotions
[Anymore]
Like a shattered mirror
These wounds stay forever
[unwillingly]

All alone, on my own
And I still miss
Being with you
You don't care [at all]
Yet I don't know
Why I'm still waiting

Forgive me my friend
For I have done something to hurt you
[unknowingly]
But you know I'm human too
I can't deal with these emotions
[Anymore]
Like a shattered mirror
These wounds stay forever
[unwillingly]

Open your eyes
Look at my heart
See the cracklines
Hear my heart cry

This' my true self
[I'll] Not hold back
My fragile heart
Has broken~ Again~

Forgive me my friend
For I have done something to hurt you
[unknowingly]
But you know I'm human too
I can't deal with these emotions
[Anymore]
Like a shattered mirror
These wounds stay forever
[unwillingly]

Forgive me my friend
For I have done something to hurt you
[unknowingly]
But you know I'm human too
I can't deal with these emotions
[Anymore]
Like a shattered mirror
These wounds stay forever
[unwillingly]

I'm hurt and I'm broken
And I can't be
Pieced back together
[My shattered heart..]

~ Nazhuka Mizhuki ~

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Coscon was ok. Nothing big, but at least managed to see my friends. =D

KOed Elmo again, mawhahaha.

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Today stayed home to chiong homework. Nothing much, but I'm pretty ticked off. Screw it, I am VERY ticked off.

First up, you know damn fucking well that I depend on my friends much. Don't have much interests in common, don't study same school, etc, what the fuck else do you want to talk about? Family background? Oh wow thanks a lot. And you like forget your other friends liao. Complain your 2 good buddies don't contact you, what about you? YOU? I don't seem to remember you contacting any of us, only letting us know when we've called you. Thanks SO much for complaining about your significant two and forgetting about "the rest of us".

Then leh? Better still. Note to all: Next time DON'T ask me anything if you don't intend to tell me why you asked. Why? IT PISSES ME OFF. BIG TIME.

Ok fine. So apparently it's my fault I don't have superhuman powers to look into the future. My fault that I don't know now. My fault that I'm pissed off, because you bugged me when I'm in a pretty darn bad mood. My fault that I'm not exactly POLITE when I happened to be PISSED OFF. My fault. My fault. Everything's always my fault. Fine then. FINE. Sorry.

So apparently it's a sin to be ticked off. Amazing. I learnt something new today. And leh? Know you're sick, I've been including you in my prayers. And then leh? AND THEN LEH? THANK EUU SO MUCH HORRZZ.

I seriously have issues with my own emotions. I don't even know how to deal with them. Thanks again for letting them go out of control. I was pissed until I was shivering a little, shedding tears and stuffing myself to the point where I almost threw up. Thankies so much. Now I need more prayers don't I? >>;

Anyway thankies Berwin and Nic for hearing me out. =D But Nic. YOU LEFT EARLY LARRR. WTF. NVM EVEN LET ME SAY BB. T___T -emos- NO worries also to Berwin, not mad at you for not forgetting about Coscon and oversleeping. Haha. =X

Well on the good side I could ji siao Elmo all I wanted, but I think I irritated him a little. Oops, sorry daddy! =X Next time see my mood how k? =D

Anyway I'm still damn fucking pissed off lar. DAMN pissed. Erm, ok not THAT pissed off. But yeah. Feel like apologising, but whatever foR? I'll most prob get another "nvm" or something that leaves me the mark that shows how insignificant I am. So there. Your point being..?

~ Nazhuka Mizhuki ~
BTW NIC YOU STILL OWE ME THE CODE LAR DAMMITT.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Lol, w00t. The fireworks display was nice sia!

First went to take some pics at home. I wore the vampire dress cause Luel wanted to see if she could fit in it, then a bit zi lian lar so took some pics, whoops. =X

Then went to zzzz a bit. Hey, I've been missing out on sleep so I go catch up marrrhhh~

Got up, showered then went to DG le. =D Tws cooked dinner for me. Yayness! Thankies~! <3

Then met Ray and Leong at the arcade. Leong and his friends also going to see fireworks, Ray didn't know that there were fireworks today. -_- But he followed me and tws there, lol.

Tws cooking not bad lar. Reminds me of my mom's cooking. =X Next time I cook for you also ok? No food poisoning one lar dammit. -_-; You stupid chairman of the la-me club, lol.

Then we walked to the Esplanade. Said lame jokes on the way, lol. Ray one really like. A bit catch no ball arh. o.o; SUPERRRR crowded sia. But we managed to get a good spot. =D Snapped some shots of them, lol. Ray was more willing, stupid neh neh la-me chairman hid his face. -___- Next time post up the pics ok? XD Took some pics of the fireworks, but Ray took the video of it. =] Post then next time also.

Get well soon Taku~! XD Christiana you didn't tell me what time you'll be at city hall. ><

~ Nazhuka Mizhuki ~

Monday, August 07, 2006

Haiz long time no update liao, keep forgetting, lol. =X

=====================================================================
-Friday-

Was quite ok lar. Night class was ok as well. Oh well, the paper wasn't hard like Physics and Chem. =X Was supposed to go to TWS' chalet, but then he say I will very rush dun want me go, so I don't go loh. =X

=====================================================================
-Saturday-

Mock exam was ok, though I don't think I can do well. =X

Then later went home, Winnie smsed me ask me go change the shoes. =___= So I go loh.. Kuukuu na bei, she was SUPER late loh. Came at like 3pm? I waited over an hour for her. -___-

Then went to Cosplay Quest. A bit suck sia. The thing ended WAYYY early. When I reached there it just ended. =( Met Zeph in the washroom, lol. Saw Angeldecay on the bus, wtf. XD Then bumped into Elie on the way there. o.o Wa like bumping day hor, lol.

Did Linali again. =haiz= I TELL YOU I WAS BRUTALLY ASSULTED. >_<>(

Then go arcade loh. Played a round of DDR with Ray then nid zhao liao..

====================================================================
-sunday-
Scha overslept. =( So she didn't go Taku's house to study physics. After that she was still sleeping, zomigosh. So I gave tws a ring, and then we agreed to go to the arcade. =D To kill time, since he working maaa, lol. Read Dgray man book 4 and 5 at Taku's place before going to DG. I died on DEAD END, looks like my end came early, lol. Bo stamina liao larrrrrr. Haiz. Did Para Freestyle on Hard mode, not bad wor! Still can pass. =X Money Go! Is currently stuck in my head. NUUOOOOOO. DX

Had lunch cum dinner, lunner*?* [lol, Ray XD] at Macs. Then he "bully" me there. T_T Oh well at least I not sian. XP

Then went to Comics Connection, didn't have anything that either of us wanted so we went to somerset, I walked him to his work place. SEE I SO NICE >_<>
===================================================================
-Monday-
Mock exams killer paper lar.. Don't want talk about it. DX
===================================================================
-Tuesday-
BIANG EH. Why everywhere I go I see red de. Like angry liddat, lol. What if got wild bull come then how? ARHHHHH. See. =P

Gahh. Money Go! is still stuck in my head. T_T

Going to see the fireworks at Esplanade with tws. Tama cannot make it. =( Who else wants to join us? =D
====================================================================

Cosplay stuff:
EOY 06:

Luel bully me T_T Haha not really larrrrr. >D -pat pat- kidding nia

I saw some pictures of other people cosplaying Amy. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that their cosplay was shitty as fuck and that they shouldn't do it, cause I don't think I'll make a very good Amy either. I'm just stating that I don't like the way their costumes turn out. It's the materials used bah. Cotton for that kind of dress texture is kinda. Off. >.O;

Cosfest 07:
I will most prob be doing either YGO or X/1999.


YGO:
I was asked to do DMG by Luel. But I lazy to. eh. Do the drops leh. DX All that armour. If I do most prob is Change of Heart or Princess of Tsurugi loh. =X MELISSA DO DMG KKKK? XD


X/1999:
I was thinking of Tokiko Magami, but then I don't look so girly. =X Karen doesn't suit my face. =/ Then my friend ask me to cosplay Nataku, wtf. O___O He's like. TALL? I'm like, a midget? -_-; Oh well.


~ Nazhuka Mizhuki ~

Thursday, August 03, 2006

WA BIANG EHHHHHHHHHH. -________- *yawns like fuck*

TIREDDDD. I want to sleep, but cannot! Stupid fucking bio mock tomorrow, my sleep HOW?!?!?!?!??! 22 chapters leh, mind ou...

Today was damn pissed off. STupid bus refused to come, almost made me late. Na bei wtf sia. Lucky could squeeze in.

Then didn't have my student journal with me. Wtf again. =___= Lucky Joelin could lend me one. IF NOT. >_>

Then later lessons loh, not bad. Cheered up a bit cause were talking cock. Oh well. Then later recess kinda regretted eating so "much" cause was full for practically the whole day. Think something's wrong with me le, haha. ._.; Bio lesson was ok, E1 was scolded, wtf. Sat beside Chun Peng. Haha erm ok. I hereby conclude that that guy doesn't laugh at jokes AT ALL. Only at random stuff THEN he laughs. ._.;

Then MT nothing much. Slacking and finishing English files mostly.

Recess only grabbed a drink then went to hall and rot. =/

Chem was quite ok, started to get sleepy though. Then EL ok ok lar, was sleepy too but at least managed to hand in all the files. E Maths was ok, but homework load too much larrr. X_X

Then came POA hai-programme which we did not know. Many tried to hide, but Chun Peng was the funniest. Hid at the balcony, LOL. XDDDDDDD The whole class nicknamed him Chun Peng Man [cause got Superman, Batmon, so call him Chun Peng Man loh, lol. CPM.]. =D Oh, and Wei Li and her Bakanishi Kingdom, I'LL TAKE OVER YOUR SPOT AS QUEEN SOON. Well or so Daiyan and Felina says anyway, cause apparently I'm pretty lame too. -gets stares from Elmo and the rest- *sweatdrops*

Then CCA commendation day. Stupid fucked up shit. Complete waste of time. Pissed me off SOOOOOOOOOOOO badly.

Sorry Felina for interrupting you unknowingly today twice. >_<>
Sorry to Miyoko for being late too, that fucktard commendation ate my time.

Now just finished bio The Eye notes, damn super fucking tired due to the lack of sleep for the whole of this week and last week. Think going to have panda eyes soon le. DX Want to die le, my bio mock how? Should I study the rest?

Anyway Thankies to Tama and Bleahhh for buying me the awesome gift when you guys went to Taiwan!!! =3 super cute. <3>

~ Nazhuka Mizhuki ~

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Waaa. -haiz- Damn tired sia. Damn taxed. DX

Yesterday nothing much [actually is I forgot larrrr. >> Shhh. =x]. SO not saying. =D

Today still quite ok. Was in quite a good mood. =D PE was fun, lol. Got mata come sch sia. Cause got theft case, apparently 1 of the 5N guys was caught, the other still on the loose. ~_~

No hai-program, but some of us still stayed back for some class bonding. =D Marcus played the guitar, Sean did the violin. <3

Then later went home loh. And then shwoered before going to DG to meet Elie. Took bus 65. Regretted it. SUpposed to spend 1h30min, ended up spending 2h 45min on the fucking bus. NA bei. Got SOOOOO pek chek. >( SOrry Elie! >_<

Then went to Parklane Mall eat Mac. Talk cock there, then started studying. =D Later Elie wanted go arcade, so go loh~ Did GuitarFreaks and Para. Guitar Freaks got extra stage, w00t. <3>

Then taxi queue so many people but no cab, wtf. SO went the other side take. NO ONE FLAG CAB. Like wtf. Stand there queueing for taxi but don't flag cab. Then also come freaking cabs u flag le don't stop. =__= Lucky one that only could go Tampines came by. =D Then come home loh. And got pissed off by my mom, as usual. Say what at night still wear black for what. Like H-E-L-L-O. My blouse is WHITE. Just happens that my jacket is BLACK. And I wore it cause I was fucking COLD from all that air-con? >> Then had to e-mail Ms Teo so on com, tio meh again. Na bei wtf sia.

===================================================================
EXTRA! My theory why HSC's ways of thing are really lame.

1] "read when you're free"

Let's ignore the non-graduating classes. Main focus is sec 4E5N. Now, why is it so that we still have to read a book whenever we have nothing to do, during our morning assembly, our breaks, and during free periods? I mean, stop and think about it. Our prelims and Os are coming, why are we only obliged to English in school? You mean we can neglect the other subjects arh? There isn't enough time allocated to the rest of the subjects loh. You can't STUDY during any of the times mentioned above, cause you get caught by teachers [especially our dear Bak Hong] and then you get yelled at, punished [maybe], and get that book or material confiscated from you. Think about it, how is that fair?

Os and Prelims coming liao, we want to revise. But why can't we use that time except during our level exams? Not fair loh. School end so late, still got homework all that, mock exams etc, how to have ample time to study? Besides, if you open your mind and think a bit, revising is also contributing to our english knowledge and the subject knowledge loh. The textbook is in ENGLISH, not some foreign language, ailen language or some weird unknown language from Pluto. It's ENGLISH loh. I mean like wtf. Still reading English rite? >>;

2] Stupid assignments and competitions

Main focus again on 4E5N. Now O level and prelims coming liao, how come we are still so full of shit that we must do? First came the CME project. So xi bei lame, still must do. Somemore is last year liao, cannot focus on our studies..? A bit no point leh. Especially these kind of stupid lameshit topic.

Then came the notice board decoration competition. I mean like, the Sec 4s and 5s already damn sian, don't want do, and focus on studies, but somehow we're forced to do? So despite us wanting to study we're obliged to waste our time doing some shit to the white blank space behind the classroom. Wtf. Can't we use this amount of time left WISELY?

Then comes our Chinese work. I mean seriously like wtf. After finishing ALL the O level MT shit, we still have to join Chinese Compo competition, and join the Newspaper Writing Competition? I mean seriously what the FUCK? Can't we use this time constructively? >>; Wasting our time. How to study liddat?

-haiz-

I rest my case.

~ Nazhuka Mizhuki ~

An important thing... 「 」 A memory.

Name:
Location: Singapore

I'm the lonewolf type who is really quiet. Not interested in talking about the rest.

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